"Are those uniforms hot?": The American public interacts with the Living Historian.

Recently I asked some of my fellow Regulars to share the craziest questions they have been asked at an event. The answers I received to this innocent question mortified, stupefied and terrified me—sometimes all at once.

First off, let me begin by cutting the general public—those who elect not to join us on the field of honor—a little bit of slack. Not everyone is as “into” history as we are. And as my fellow Regular, Private Grogan points out, it would be a little bit conceited of us to expect as much. But I like to think a majority Americans have at least some sense of the gist of American History and the whole space-time continuum thing. However, as these responses ranked and categorized by originality will show, there exists a happy few who for whatever reason just have no idea.

The Unbelievable:

1. "These monuments don't have any bullet holes. When did they repair them after the battle?" –This zinger from Ed C. took the cake in my book.

2. Overheard a conversation once where someone said "Hm, Gettysburg was fought on the 1, 2, and 3 of July. That must be why we celebrate the 4th of July!" –This original from First Sergeant McConnell really makes you wonder. I put it second in the hope that it was uttered by a recent immigrant who hadn’t gotten to that part of the citizenship exam study guide yet.

3. "Why were so many Civil War battles fought on National Parks?" –Another space-time issue from our First Sgt., but I’m sure it came before Ken Burns’ National Parks epic came out so I’ll cut them a little slack.

The puzzlers from Camp:

1. "What side are you on?" —Mind you, Fred G. was wearing blue from head to toe at the time. I was also asked this same question at Governor’s Island in the middle of New York Harbor last year. And sadly, it seems to be a somewhat common question.

2. “Are you going to eat that?” and "Did you sleep out here last night?" —In our modern age, it’s understandable that men living and eating outdoors is a novel concept. But these two questions asked of First Sgt. McConnell do make you wonder.

3. "What state is your regiment." - "We're regulars, the national army." - "Yeah, but what STATE?" —Maybe Ed C. and the viewing public do speak different languages. You decide.

Jim R.’s honorary “kids say the darndest things category”:

1. I was given a presentation to some 4th graders and Genl's Kearny and Ewell came up which prompted one youngster to ask if a one-armed Union general fought a one-legged Confederate general, who would win? —I should not have been eating when I read this one because the contents of my mouth actually passed through my nose. It was painful. But I think Gen. Kearny could deliver the better roundhouse kick of the pair.

2. I once took a Ghosts of Gettysburg walking tour during which a youngster asked the tour guide "if a Confederate ghost fought Frankenstein, who would win?" I walked off in amazement before hearing the tour guide's reply. —This one’s a true poser. American ingenuity versus German engineering. But since we beat them twice I would take the cornfed over the lurching brute.

So there you have it. I know the brotherhood of the Living Historian is a fringe element of people who read a little bit too much history and like to wear wool uniforms. A majority of Americans did not grow up in a military family or serve in the military. Likewise, most Americans have not picked up a history book since leaving school or received an advanced degree in history. But regardless of your level of understanding of our history, you have to admit these are some real winners.

My thanks to Fred, Jason, Ed, and Jim for sharing their best with me.

And although I wouldn’t say it at an event, those uniforms are #@%$^!* hot.